Known By Him
While exiting the Salvation Army building, I saw a bulletin board decorated with brown and black construction paper. I studied this image for awhile, which someone had clearly worked hard to create, cut and staple. I could have taken a picture, but I didn't need to as it was already filed away in my mind and heart. The image was the base of a tree trunk, whose roots grew angularly into the black soil. The roots were tangled in some places, but in the middle the roots clearly forming the word CHRIST.
This tree, which was almost completely hidden from view, displayed its source of life, and it reminded me who I am. In the midst of mothering 3 little kids, and mothering without a mother (or father) of my own, I have often felt hidden and unseen by the world around me. Yet, my roots grow deeper each day in my friendship with the Lord, and my understanding of my identity in Christ.
After Rosalia was born I was given a book entitled "Unseen" by Sara Hagerty. I was intrigued by the title, and while it took me a year and a half to read it (3 little kids ;) it really taught me how to enjoy this time of feeling hidden and "unseen" by the world around me. I am seen by my Father, who stands next to me at the kitchen sink, who sits with me as I read a book to my children, and who walks with me as I push the stroller. He - and most of the time, only He - sees, knows, and understands all of my many - oh, so many! - ups and downs of Motherhood. And, I can never escape His View. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. Psalm 139:7-8. And, not only does Jesus see me, He understands me. You have searched me, Lord, and you know me Psalm 139:1. Even on days when I don't really know what I'm thinking or feeling! He knows - and He loves what He sees.
He created us to be known. As Sara Hagerty writes, "we hunger for significance - to be seen and understood and loved, to be and live marvelous - because we are made not only to know God but also to be known by Him."In the midst of Covid, I remind myself that I am created to be known by Him. He wants to listen to my complaints, my fears, and my laments. He also wants to hear my gratitude, my affection, and my adoration. He wants to know my questions, my conflicts, and my wanderings. And, with each conversation a root grows a little deeper, planting myself in His rich, life-giving soil.
Thank you Candace. You wrote exactly how I often feel; hidden isolated, unseen. I will need to read that book. I have come to find in that state that in trusting Him, the root goes ever deeper, the leaves grow ever greener, the sunshine shines even brighter! You are a deep root, a taproot, and with each travail that you have worked your way through, you reach the nutrition and everlasting abundant waters that keep you strong in every moment in Him. ð